out of the darkness,

[sarah elizabeth benson]

Sarah had a love-hate relationship with the southern spring. It was warmer sooner than in the northeast, but it came with a lot of rain. Today was one of those rare days when it had been warm and sunny. Now that evening was here, it was a bit chillier, but warranted nothing more than a sweater. A light breeze had picked up from the ocean which was just a couple hundred yards away from where Sarah stood on the boardwalk. She leaned again the wooden railing, tucking her arms close to her as she but her weight on her forearms. Her mind was reeling from the conversation she had recently had with Sean. After three years of silence, he walks back into her life with a simple phone call. She had tried so hard to let him go, one of the reasons for her move here to Arietta. It was too hard being in the city. There were too many painful memories: the death of her father, breaking up with Sean, her mother's incarceration. She was doing okay here in North Carolina. Not as well as she would have liked, but was trying to make the best of things. Well, that was all just blown to hell. How could Sean have been in town for, what did he say, three months and not tell her until just hours before. What the hell was he doing that it took him that long to call her? Did he really need to come to Arietta to do that? They did have phones in New York. Sarah shook her head. It didn't matter anymore. She had given him the answer he needed to hear to get him on a plane back home, even if it was a lie. Truth was, she still had feelings for him, but she pushed them back so far into the darkness they might as well be forgotten. Unfortunately now, they had just been brought to the surface. The sun was setting, turning the sky brilliant shakes of orange, purple, pink, and yellow. To her right the dark blues of night were making their way to Arietta. It was a magnificent sight that even she couldn't capture with a brush, no matter how hard she tried, but she couldn't even enjoy it. The breeze blew her hair out of her eyes but also made her shiver a bit. The thought of coffee popped into her head, maybe even a churro, but before she headed for the nearest vendor, waited for night to fully set.

tag sean carter hoyas / apex notes <3 love them.

[sean carter hoyas]

It had been days since sean had called sarah he had been living in arietta for the last 3 months he had gotten a job at the local car shop in which he worked on and fixed cars. He had been attending some class over at the college to try and earn his business degree so in ways it was if sean was trying to better himself. After a longs day of hard work sean finiahed up his last car and took a quick shower at work and changed as he closed up shop. He got onto his bike and decided for the night to hit the boardwalk he needed some type of distraction from sarah but he knew it was a failed task. He arrieved and parked his bike on the side as he shifted his weight over to his left leg before spinning his right leg over and standing up he next took off his helmet and placed on the seat he slicked his hair back a bit as some girls walked by and all he heard as they walked passed him were giggles. Sean looked in there direction and simply placed a smile, he began to walk on the boardwalk as he noticed the color of the sky its was truly somehting he never got to see back home in new york. The vivid mixture of colors from the purple and orange and the yellow coming from the sun it was truly breath taking as he stood there for a min just soaking it all in. Sean looked around as everything that seemed to pass infront of him were couples holding hands and kissing in a way sean felt that the people were mocking him. But sean had all of that with ashley his finace but it wasnt what he wanted...like he had told her in ther conversation it was sarah that he wanted to be with the rest of his life. He had choosen her he hoped one day to marry her and make her the future mrs hoyas but in his current situation he didnt know what he wanted. He walked by a booth and decided he wanted to play just to get his mind off things he walkedup up the associate and placed a dollar down as he was given 3 balls he picked them up and backed up about 2 feet.

As he stared at the game was knocking the bottles over he had 3 chances now he had played baseball back when he was in highschool so he twirled the first ball and took aim as he pitched the first ball and he missed the ball went to he left. He looked at the second ball as he threw that one and it went off to the right. He had one ball left as he looked at the bottle one more time and he wined up and threw the final ball with so much velocity and force as he hit the bottles straight in the middle they all fell down as the guy looked at sean and all he could say was "winner" sean looked at him and just took a bear he really didnt want the prize so there was a little girl that had been watching him he walked over to her and kneeled down to her level "hey bud here you can have my teddy" the girl looked at him as her eyes shinned with exctiment as she took the bear and gave it a huge hug. All sean could do was smile as the girl ran off he got up once more and kept walking the boardwalk as he decide to get some coffee he had been hungry so he thought maybe a nice cup of joe and maybe a churro might satify his hunger.

He knew of a small spot as he made his way to the shop there was always a line here but for good reason they had the best coffee. There was one person ahead of him as they ordered it was his turn again as he ordered a medium coffee and his churro he paid the cashier as he stepped on the side waiting for his things little did he know he wasnt at this location by himself....he just stood there as he waited for his coffee unaware of the people around him....


Tag:Sarah Elizabeth Benson/Sarah
Notes: Sorry took me awhile but here it is....lol

[sarah elizabeth benson]

Having stared at the horizon long enough, Sarah finally got up the will to stand straight and make the walk down the boardwalk to her favorite coffee cart. It was gradually getting darker, but the lights of the boardwalk made the place sparkle. Now that warmer weather was setting in, the shops and vendors were staying open later as hanging out on the boardwalk became a local favorite. It was definitely a teen hot spot at night and family place during weekend days. Sarah was particularly fond of it on week nights since it was less crowded, but with the amount of rain the past few days, the first warm, dry night in a week brought an influx of people. So, it was no surprise when she had to wait in a line at the vendor. While waiting, she pulled out her cell and returned a few messages that she had ignored while admiring the sunset. It was a bad habit of hers to ignore text messages, then forget about them. It drove her friends crazy. By the time she responded to her unopened messages they were almost always irrelevant anyway. Finally after the five people in front of her placed their orders, it was Sarah's turn. She ordered a vanilla latte and a churro, paid, and shifted out of the way so the person behind her could place their order. Her mouth was watering already in anticipation of the warm sweetness that was soon to come. Oh how she loved summer.

After she had stepped to the side to wait for her order, her eyes wandered to the other people hanging around the vendor either waiting to place an order, receive an order, or just hanging around chatting. That was when Sean caught her eye standing at the other end of the cart. He hadn't seen her yet, but if she didn't move he was bound to when he went to grab his food. Looking around for a way to lay low until he moved on, Sarah suddenly stopped herself. What was she, thirteen? Rolling her yes at her child-like behavior, Sarah took the initiative and passed through the human barrier between them. "I thought you would be on your way home by now." She said in a voice just loud enough for him to hear. This felt like a bad idea to her, but she wasn't going to run and hide like last time. Of course, there were more reasons than Sean, but he was a big part of them. She knew how he felt about her, and she once reciprocated those feelings - she still did if she took the time to let them through - but after the horribly tragic experience her absolute best friend went through, and the way she became after, just terrified Sarah. She hadn't spoken to Noelle since the death of her fiance, her friend having fallen into the darkest depression Sarah had ever seen. It was a scary, potential suicide-like depression that required therapy and even medication. Since then, Sarah swore off love, even serious relationships, but then who shows up but the one person to put that all to hell...

[sean carter hoyas]

Sean reached into his pocket as he took out his cell phone and saw that ashley had given him a call he placed the phone back in his pocket as he ignored her call he looked up as he was handed his coffee and churro as he took the items from the counter he shook his had to the barsista and thanked him as seconds later he heard "I thought you would be on your way home by now? He looked down as he took a sip of his coffee the voice was so familar and when he finally spotted the person who said them it was sarah right here infront of his eyes only a mear inches away he looked at her with out any reaction as he looked for the words to say."yea no i decided to stay for a bit longer i like it hear totattly different from the city'and what he said was the truth arietta was way different from new youk. Sean loved the city and the lifestyle he had back there but since moving to arietta he had grown to like it here as well the calmn laid back atomphsphere was something he wasnt really used to but it was something he was learing to live with. Sean had lost himsedlf in his thoughts he soon snapped out of it and looked at her before taking a bite of his churro...the expression on his face was priceless it was so good almost like an orgasm in his mouth he took another bite followed by a sip of his coffee.

"so what brings you to the boardwalk do you wanna go sit some where and cathc up its good to see you again, its been awhile since i seen you he watched her for a minute as he waited for her ordered to be brought to her he walked over put a bit more of milk in his coffee as he shook it and walked over to one of the benches as he sat down and waited for her to come his direction or not maybe she would take the chance and just go away. In all honestly thats what he thought she was going to do so at least he was prepared he took another bite from his treat as he looked towards the ocean the site was beautiful it was just calmn to watch the water and nature he kinda got lost again in the gaze of the water all he could do is admire it from a far..

[sarah elizabeth benson]

Sarah was having trouble letting the past few days sink in. The phone call had been simple enough to put aside because for the past couple days she had it in her head that Sean would be back in The Big Apple by now at least. And yet, here he was standing before her. Now, she was trying to figure out what he was doing with himself that he's been down here in Arietta for three months. She didn't even want to think of his fiance - if she was with him, or left back in the city hashing out wedding plans with her bridesmaids. Either way just didn't make sense to her, because Sean was here instead of with her. Sarah really didn't want to be caught with Sean by anyone who might know Ashley. She didn't know what sort of girl she was, if she was the jealous type or what. It wasn't in her schedule to get mixed up in a love triangle she wanted no part of, nor was it in her schedule to try and calm down a psychotic bride-to-be. When Sean replied to her statement, she merely nodded. It was definitely different from the city. It took her a bit to get accustomed, but now she didn't want to leave.

What came out of his mouth next made Sarah hesitate. Sit and talk sounded innocent enough, but she felt like there was more to it than that. She wasn't ready to be the other woman, which was what she now was. Sean left to grab a table, leaving Sarah alone to wait for her latte and churro, which arrived within a few seconds. Glancing in Sean's direction, she noticed he wasn't paying attention and the thought of leaving popped into her head again. But this wasn't high school, they were adults now. Besides, things were awkward enough without her adding to it by vanishing. With the way things were going, she was bound to run into him again anyway, so why prolong the inevitable. Taking a deep breath for courage, she made her way to the table Sean had claimed, climbing onto the bench across from him. She sipped her latte for strength, but ignored her churro for the time being. "Seriously Sean, what are you doing here? And I don't mean here at the boardwalk, I mean here in Arietta. Is Ashley with you?" Because she wanted to know now, before she was confronted later.

[sean carter hoyas]

Sean shock his head at her questions as she had bronken his train of

thought "i told you i was here in arietta on my own...as

for ashley she is back in jersey i needed time to be alone si i broke

off the wedding and came here to find myself believe me or not thats

the truth that is why i am here in arietta" most of what sean

had said was true but he didnt want to talk about that. Sooner or later

this conversation would resurface but when that time came then it would

come but that time wasnt now. "Listen sarah lets not lose

time wiht this we could go back and fourth can we just talk abd catch

up with one another as friends if you would like no bs just as friends

please As sean took another sip of his coffee as he waited for

sarah to take in what he had just told her. He understood that after 3

yrs of not seeing each other and then him coming out of now where with

a call and laying it all on the line was a huge thing to swallow.

But what about him he deserved to an explantation as to why she just

got up and left with out telling him or anybody for that matter, had he

done something that made her leave...for the last couple years he

blamed himself for the reason why she left even though deep down he

loved her he truly did. But that still wasnt good enough for her had

she fallen in love with another man so many scenarios had ran though

his mind and it drove him crazy sure one of the reasons he has here in

arietta was because he needed to get away from ashley but the other

reason was he needed to know the truth closer as some people would call

it.

Did she still have feelings from him as he had for her. He never lost

feelings for hurt even though he tried to bury those feelings down deep

they had returned in that one fall call and he would be a fool that if

running into sarah didnt rush all the feelings he had for her then he

would be lieing to himself and he should pack up and head back to new

york. He wasnt going to give up that easily as he watched her sit there

infornt of him looking more beautiful then ever...sure he had changed

as well for starters he let his hair grow out like he once had in

middle school the way he had met her. There was so many things he

wanted to say to her but couldnt so he just sat there but the silence

was to unbareble "so...how have you been i would be a liar

of i told you it wasnt good to see you after 3 years'

[sarah elizabeth benson]

Twisting the lid of her latte, Sarah listened to Sean's explanation. She didn't recall him saying he had broken off the wedding over the phone, unless he had done it within the past couple days. Oh no, that meant she was most likely the reason for his doing so. More than anything she wanted to slap some sense into Sean, since it looked like he needed it. From the sound of things, he had no idea what he was looking for. Sarah really didn't know if she was the right person to help, or if she could help for that matter. This was his life, one that she hadn't been a part of for nearly three years now. Still, she supposed it wouldn't kill her to just be a friend, even though it was against her better judgment. When he finished, Sarah said nothing in reply just sipped her latte. At the sound of her name, her gaze rose to his, listening as he asked to just talk as friends. She could do that, or try at least. There were just some things she couldn't be selfish about and the sooner she learned that the better. For a moment Sarah was again not going to respond, but when she realized Sean was waiting for her to say something she replied. "I guess that couldn't hurt anything." She had to admit, she was rather curious as to what he was doing with himself. Obviously, he had met another girl after Sarah and became engaged to her, then broke it off. Other than that, Sarah was totally in the dark. Call her nosy, but she wanted to know other things.

Sarah could feel Sean's eyes on her and it sent chills down her spine. A familiar feeling she hadn't experienced in years, but there was something different about it this time, she just couldn't quite put her finger on it. Biting into her churro, she tried not to look at him, knowing if her gaze found his this time it would linger there. She could easily get lost in his eyes without even realizing it. Once again he asked her how she's been, a question she had previously evaded. She still wasn't too keen on answering, but figured she might as well. "I've been... surviving, barely. I love it down here, I do. It's just... things aren't turning out the way I had planned, ya know?" Without thinking, she looked up, meeting his gaze. Like she had anticipated, it got stuck there until she found the strength to pull it away and down to her latte.

[sean carter hoyas]

Sean shook his head as he waited for her to answer he took his final bite from his churro and the last gulp of his coffee as he waited for sarah to talk she hadnt really said much but when she finally responded sean couldnt help but smile for a bit. As he went to answer to her remark "Surving huh...what have you been trying to survive fromif you dont ask me asking"? He couldn't help but just as sarah was interstead in what sean had to say so was he about her. He cleaned in bit to in a way cut the distance between the two of him as he answered more of her remark. "yea i feel what you mean so different then what we are acustom to....it so much calmer living in a chill place rather then a fast moving always on the go type of place...if that makes even the slightest bit of sense he let out a small laugh. The sun had finally set in the background no longer did the sky's color brighten the place the shade of purple and orange competely vanished from it as just the dark blueness and the stars let light to the sky followed by the moon tim ehad been passing as sarah and sean had been talking for what seems hours laughing at one another and joking kinda of what they were like back in new york when they were together. It was a nice feeliiing to have again it was this very feeling that sean had long hoped from since sarah's departature in ways he had looked for that with ashley but nothing ever came close to what he felt with sarah. But as time had went on he learned to like ashley he never really ever fell in love with her and even today he wasnt in love with ashley...true she was special to him but sarah had taken his heart and she was the only girl sean had ever loved and will ever love for that fact...sean was conviced sarah was the one for him and he knew she that as well no matter how much she denied or try to hide behind those feelings.

It was beginning to get late and sean hadnt really wanted this night to end so he stood up and looked at her as he held out his hand towards her "walk with me....let us enjoy this night and take a walke along the water i can take you home afterwards of you would like Aand with that sean held his arm out to sarah to grab. Sure it was a whole lot chessy and stupid but sarah drove sean to do this stupid and chessy things all the time...it was what kinda set sean apart from other guys. He had this whole badboy i can kick your ass when ever the hell i want to persona but that all change when he was with her. He became a loving joking person who truly tried his best at making his girl the happiest he could. When she was with him it was if the world stopped and it was just them both....not only had they been friends turned into best friends they were also lovers and know each other inside and out and that was one thing sean refused to give up on even if she had.....

[sarah elizabeth benson]

If it were three years ago, it would seem so natural - her sitting here with Sean, enjoying the warm spring evening. For the time they spent talking and reconnecting, it was that time. Sarah forgot about all of the obstacles that were in the way of her living her life the way she planned, even those that had caused her to run from their relationship. She tried her best to explain her upsets to Sean, unsure if she'd done a reasonable job. Truth be told she wasn't completely up to date on her problems, but she caught him up with a few things that led her here to Arietta and her troubles since then. She felt like she was talking his ear off, even though most of her responses were somewhat reserved even vague, but she wasn't letting Sean get away with asking all of the questions. She threw a bunch his way as well. Before she knew it, night had fully set in and the crowds were thinning out. A couple venues were even starting to close up shop for the night. Sarah only became aware of this when Sean stood and asked her to take a walk with him. "Yeah, okay. But you don't need to talk me home. I'm a big girl." Not only that she really wasn't looking to get the third degree from her aunt who would more than likely notice if her niece brought a guy to the doorstep.

She stood and dropped her garbage into the nearest bin, turning to see Sean holding his arm for her. Swallowing hard, she stared at it for a moment before slowly taking it. The voices in her head warned her to tread lightly, but each time she debunked their warnings with "it's just." It's just talking, we're just friends, it's just a walk, he's just being a gentleman. Even though she knew better, it still brought her solace. Her arm fit into his just like she remembered. It was amazing what memories remained even after years of separation. As they headed to the beach, Sarah became all too aware of the fact they were alone, save for the tides washing on shore. It didn't take long for her to stop and pull off her shoes to make walking easier, and keep her shoes from getting destroyed by the sand and salt water. The sand was chilly between her toes, but it was a nice foot massage. The ocean breeze whipped her hair into her eyes, and mouth, causing her to tuck it behind her ear, repeatedly. Still, it never bothered her enough to tie it up. "This is much nicer than walking along the Hudson." There were just so many things wrong with that: no barefeet, horrible smell, city noises and the filthy river. Simplicity was beautiful.

[sean carter hoyas]

The sky was set the stars acted as light to luminate the path along the

beach. The wind pick up through sean's hair as so of it got into his

eyes all he could do was tuck it within the back of his ear.But just as

sarah had done he took off his shoes and socks as he along with sarah

walked barefoot along the water. The cold but soothing water in between

his toes made it all the worth while at least his shoes wouldn't get

dirty or sandy. He watched as sarah had denied his offer to take her

home "ok big girl im sure you can get home all by your

lonesome he laughed. At this point in time it felt like they were pretty much together as if the break up had never happen. But in reality it had but it was good to have moments like this one were they can kinda re-kindle. They walk along the beach line for awhile he looked over at her and took his jacket off and placed it over hers it didnt seem like she was cold but it was a natural thing that came out from sean it was just the way he was with her. He nodded along "yea this is so much better the the hudson with the smelly water's the loud noise....i guess simplicity is key. Sean stopped and walked towards the boardwalk and came to a stop as he took a seat in the sand and just looked into the ocean his toes dug into the sand.

From there he layed down and just looked at the sky why was this so hard for him to just be friends with her. He wanted nothing more to just take her and place a kiss on her the urge he had been fighting back for awhile now...but he hheld back but it was so damn hard to try and fight it. He shook his head he knew sarah felt the same no matter how much she denied it or said she didnt he knew she did. All this was driving him crazy he sat back up and tried to regain his composer. 'so...what have you been doing here in arietta do you work or go back to school you've been very vague and bleek with your answers ..why can't just be real and honest with me ive been honest with you with everything"?....

[sarah elizabeth benson]

There was a moment Sarah recalled a few years ago back in New York when she was wandering along the river. A seagull dived toward the water and plucked out a fish. It had amazed Sarah that there were even fish living in that part of the river, which was used mainly as a garbage dump and even a graveyard. Then she thought that any fish living in the unsanitary river must have some sort of disease and wished the bird luck with his last meal. There were no seagulls out this time of night in Arietta, but earlier today they were all over the place, running to and from the tide looking for the tiny clams that were brought ashore. There were even crabs on occasion. Living here was like something from a romance movie, whereas New York was straight out of a crime drama. Literally, since all of the Law & Orders are shot in the city; well, except for the new one in Los Angeles. "I honestly couldn't believe this is what I was missing. I came down here every summer, but as a tourist. I never saw it as a resident before, after all of the tourists left and everything shut down. I actually like it better this way." Normally people from the city had trouble adjusting to any place without traffic sounds at night, but Sarah slept better here in the quiet than ever in the city, but there were other reasons for that as well.

Walking quietly along the water's edge, Sarah had the overwhelming urge to drop her head against Sean's shoulder. Luckily, he veered from their projected path toward the boardwalk but plopped down in the sand before he got there. Sarah remained standing, watching as Sean lay back and looked at the sky. His eyes were sparkling from the light of the moon and she was mesmerized. Turning her head, she looked out at the ocean, the moon's reflection dancing on the waves. She finally dropped to the sand next to Sean, but remained sitting, stretching out her legs and leaning back in a relaxed position. She enjoyed the sound of the ocean, until Sean start up the conversation once again. She sighed, wondering when he would let up trying to get answers from her she didn't know. She turned to look at him, rather offended. "You call me after three years, tell me you're getting married but have been here in Arietta for three months, alone and two days later you say you called off the wedding, and you think I'm not being real with you?" She gave him a look that said "please" in a sarcastic tone. Any other time she would be beyond ticked off, but she was learning to roll with the punches and just going along with whatever this was. "But to answer your question, I've been taking a couple summer classes and working at a friend's bakery."

[sean carter hoyas]

The conversation went on he spoke and then she spoke. She had come over and sat next to him as he asked her his series of questions they were just stupid meaning less questions kinda of his way of geting off topic about how much he wanted to kiss her he watched as she responded and that urge that he had so hard to fight off was inching closer to just let loose. She answered him and all he could do is watch then out of nowhere he grabbed her by the left side of her cheek and a pulled himself about closer to her as he placed a kiss on her lips the kiss was tender and gentle. Kissing her sent shock waves all over his body as he couldnt control it any longer he deepen the kiss as he leaned in more the kiss was a bit more passionate then what he had started with. For 3 long years sean missed the way sarah's lips fit perfectly o his the tenderness of her touch upon his...it was something about her that just drove sean wild. She was like his own dose of heroin that he couldnt get enough off. He always came back for more he slowly began to back away from her as all he could do was gaze upon her eyes he didnt know what her reaction would be he mostly thought she would just go ahead and slap him straight acrros the face or storm off in anger. "im sorry...i dont know what came over me it was a sudden impulsive that i couldnt control... i shouldnt have done that again i am sorry he looked down at the sand as he waited for to say something the look on her face was hard to read he couldnt tell if she was angry or shocked but what he knew was deep down he wanst sorry not one damn bit and this whole i am sorry i understand you thing was so out of his character he quickly looked up to her and spoke. " you know what i am not sorry for what i did...i still have feelings for you and you havent told me a legit reason as to why you ran away from new york 3 years ago and it's not fair to me to feel this way and express it to you and you just sit or talk to me like you dnt give a damn if you sincerely dont have feelings and no i dnt meant mean just telling me you dont...i mean deep down if there is nothing that you feel for me then, just tell me and be upfront if me because i am tired of blaming myself for you leaving the city stop playing with my emotions and putting me through this hell"!!!

And there it was sean had layed it all in the open the feelings he had bottle up inside had finally come out it felt like a huge relief to do that he didnt know if that was the smartest thing he could have down but it was the truth. He was tired of this cat and mouse game if they were going to be living in the same town he rather know the truth and either move on with the wedding or fight for sarah whihc he was willing to do as some might say the ball was in her court now. He got up and moved closer to the water again and just put his feet in there as the water hit it he picked up a couple rocks and threw them at the ocean one after another. He took a couple of breathes and after a few throws of rocks he stopped and just looked at the water...

[sarah elizabeth benson]

Sean was staring at her in a way that was making her rather uncomfortable. That look was no stranger to her, but it had been absent for more than three years. Sarah didn't know whether she should be surprised or not, but for the most part was not. She should have been expecting all of this since running into Sean on the boardwalk, perhaps even after the phone call. It was just the fear of where this was all headed that caused her to pull the wool over her own eyes. She wasn't being completely oblivious just turning her head and pretending not to see. However, as soon as Sean's lips were touching hers, she knew there was no way to ignore it now. At first she held her breath, just waiting for it to be over and trying not to feel or think, even breathe. Then the worst happened and he leaned into her lips, deepening their kiss. Her breathe was still held but she could feel her lips moving with his, falling into their rightful place. A flood of memories came rushing back, good memories, the ones she hadn't edited. Then it all came to an abrupt halt. Sarah was staring at Sean's lips as he leaned away from her, struggling to let the breath out she had been holding. Her thoughts were a mess until he apologized. Then on instinct her hand came back to slap him straight across the face. "Damn straight you're sorry!" Now she was pissed. He had no right to kiss her like that because now that just complicated matters even more.

Her expression hardened into a scowl when he rescinded the apology, then continuing on to rip into her masquerade. He was not being at all fair. She was doing okay here in Arietta; he was the one who showed up out of no where. She had been blindsided and was continuing to be so. The more he talked, the angrier she became. If he knew what was best for him, he would shut it. Finally, he seemed to oblige, rising from the stand and wandering to the water's edge. Sarah got up and stormed after him. "Hey! You can't just show up here and start demanding all of these answers from me in order to figure out your next move! I'm not your magic 8 ball; you can't just shake me up and expect me to determine your life choices!" This was all becoming too much at one time. It seemed like he was placing all his chips on whether or not she still had feelings. "I'm not a machine, Sean. I have feelings too and right now they are having trouble identifying themselves. I'm still digesting." She had lowered her voice from the shouting she was previously doing, but there was still anger radiating from her words. She finally paused in her speech, heaving a few deep breaths. "What if I said I don't have feelings for you anymore? What would you do, go back to Ashley, reconcile and move on with your wedding plans. The only problem with that is you would still be hung up on me, am I right?" Sean made it clear that was the problem all along, but if she really and truly admitted she had no feelings, would he be able to give up his that easily? Somehow she doubted it, just as she doubted her ability to keep telling him she no longer had feelings for him or simply evading the issue.

[sean carter hoyas]

The slap came to no suprise for sean he had been expecting it it was just a matter of time when her hand slipped across his face as his face went to the right he just stood there and rub his chain. If one thing he did remeber from sarah was the power she had she was a small figured girl but she had some power behind her but that was besides the point he had to give his dues she was right about him just popping out of anywhere and doing evrything he did. "listen i know you are right i get that i truly do there is no exc use for me to just come out of anywhere and except things from you...i understand that all the way but i also understand that nobody forgets what you had with me some 3 years or so ago....call me a fool naive or whatever it is you want to call me deep down i know how still feel and i will not hide that from you are anybody else.". Sean paused for a minute as he gathered his thoughts "im not excepting to determine my life from me you arent just an object i can shake and get an answer out of it im here because i still want you to be part of my life and im sorry sarah i truly am but i just can't be friends with you not after what we had back in new york I...cant just go and pretend those feelings never excisted between you and me because they do and there still here" some sheer distance was now between the two of them it was distance that needed to be had and sean understood that even if his actions didnt refelct that all the way, he thought of of the words she had said to him what if she said that she didnt have feelings for him anymore would he just say fine and fly back to new york and go on with the wedding there was a bit of hestination while he thought...would he just throw in the towel that easily....No the answer was no he wouldnt just give up he was here to fight for sarah and show her that even if she didnt love him like he did her. He would fight until there was no fight to be fought with this it didnt matter how long it would take he wouldn never give up on them like he didnt give up on them 3 years ago he wasnt going to give up now. " No my answer is no i wouldnt go back to ashley...its you that i want its always been you...i will fight for you always sarah elizabeth benson"

He looked in her eyes so she could see the sincerity in his eyes from what he had just said a tear ran down his cheek now sean was a man's man but certain things hit him right where it hurt and sarah was one od them even though form their time togehter he had never cried infornt of her but today he didnt car"let me ask you this sarah say if the roles would be reversed what if i ran away from the city and came here to arietta and you were the one getting married would you give up on us...? he asked as he wiped the tear away from his eye...

[sarah elizabeth benson]

Thiswas beginning to get ridiculous. All they seemed to be doing was talking in circles. Of course that was Sarah's fault for deflecting the main issue, but it was out of fear and her fear was stronger than anything else at the moment, except for maybe confusion. However, confusion simply instigated that fear, so it was a lose-lose on her part. She wanted more than anything to just walk away and pretend this night never happened but the world didn't work that way. Instead, she listened to Sean reiterate pretty much the same material he'd been using on her all night just in different words. She was adding frustrated to her list of emotion parallel with annoyance. "Fool" was a good term; she'd go with that one. "Naive", eh, maybe. "Persistent" definitely. A persistent fool is what he was tonight. She kept her mouth shut despite the urge to comment, waiting for the response to her question. "So then what is the point of asking when it doesn't matter what the answer is." He just admitted that whether she answered yay or nay he'd still be the same stubborn ass she knew.

Her expression had softened but she wasn't even aware of it; she was too taken aback from the tear she had just seen roll down Sean's face. Never, ever, had she seen him cry. She didn't even think he possessed the ability. Suddenly it was like a brick wall came tumbling down as reality smacked her in the face. She fell speechless, listening to him ask what she would do had things been reversed. "I..." She was still having trouble forming words, trying to get the image of Sean crying out of her head. "I don't know...I..." She couldn't look at him anymore. Turning away, she walked up the beach a few paces, trying to put her thoughts in order. She rubbed her temples, feeling the soft leather of his jacket against her face. She could catch his scent faintly embedded in the leather. She brought her arms down to look at the sleeves of his jacket. It brought tears to her own eyes, remembering everything they went through back in New York, together. How she pushed him away then fled when things got unbearable. That wasn't his fault; it was hers. This whole thing was her fault; she started it by shutting him out. She had just assumed he would give up and move on and really thought he had, until a few days ago.

This harsh reality stabbed her in the gut and she doubled over in sobs. Her legs buckled and she landed on her knees in the tide, the incoming waves washing over her thighs to her stomach. She couldn't remember the last time she had cried, probably when her father died. Since then she went through life in auto-pilot, taking everything on with a brave face and pretending she was fine. Obviously, she wasn't. At least, not anymore. She had been fine living in her own little bubble that Sean just popped. "I'm-I'm sorry. You're right. You're right about everything." She could barely talk through her sobs, trying to catch her breath. "I was scared so I ran because it was easier than facing you."